tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-147429122012-02-16T14:52:28.204-05:00now it's coming to you, the lessons I learned won't do you any good, you've got to get burned, well the curse and the blessing they're one and the same, baby it's all such a treacherous gainelizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.comBlogger1451100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-84788752630532333532009-04-03T21:59:00.003-04:002009-04-03T22:27:34.377-04:00

I think I wrote something about posting soon/more often? Right.I just can't imagine that anything I might write here would be of very much interest to anyone but me. I'm still feeling surprisingly well, so far exempt from most pregnancy complaints. The one that won't let up is the exhaustion. I never did get that second trimester burst of energy, and now the fatigue is as strong as it was in the

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-27533053141157093132009-02-07T12:25:00.002-05:002009-02-07T13:26:36.109-05:00

Only ninety days to go... I can't believe it! In the beginning I never really imagined I would get this far. Now Iggy is kicking, punching, and hiccuping away, making her* presence known so often that even I have come to accept that there really is a baby in there.As I enter the last week of the second trimester I would have to say that so far this has been a very easy pregnancy physically. In

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-49488846337916116852008-11-28T17:03:00.003-05:002008-11-28T17:19:04.366-05:00

A belated happy Thanksgiving to those of you who celebrated yesterday. I have never had more to be thankful for than I do this year: finally, finally pregnant and able to share the news in person with our far-flung extended family, all gathered together for one day of eating, and laughing, and catching-up, and eating, and gossiping, and gratitude, and taking long walks together so that we could

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-18936271413423046132008-11-14T21:29:00.003-05:002008-11-14T21:55:41.454-05:00

I haven't talked about my job in a long time.Right now, I hate it.Once upon a time, I loved it. But for the last year or so, I've known that I have outgrown it. I have learned everything I can learn here, and there is no path for advancement unless my immediate boss decides to retire, in which case I'm pretty sure I could have her job. But she shows no signs of retiring any time soon.It's not all

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-78523197945897781512008-11-08T13:27:00.002-05:002008-11-08T13:58:59.171-05:00

Fourteen weeks today. Technically, I think we are out of the first trimester by now. Or maybe it's the end of this week? I can't seem to find a definitive answer to this question. But,the common wisdom seems to be that we are sailing out of the dangerous waters. Anything could still happen; unfortunately I am all too aware of that. But I think we have reached a point at which it verges on the

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-90102325226435760312008-10-18T17:02:00.005-04:002008-11-08T13:27:08.654-05:00

(This has been saved as a draft since October 18)The first ob visit went well. It started with the ultrasound. I was expecting outdated technology, but I was pleasantly surprised. Mounted on the wall was a large, widescreen monitor so that Jack and I could see everything without having to crane for a view of the monitor the tech was using. She started by doing an abdominal ultrasound. My first

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-84767429765802627032008-10-09T22:14:00.003-04:002008-10-09T23:07:12.847-04:00

Today was our last visit to Dr. Cautious. Next week I have an appointment with my gyn (now my ob!). The graduation is bittersweet. Who am I kidding? It's mostly bitter. I mean, yes, it's unbelievably wonderful that this pregnancy has continued for so long that our RE feels the need to kick us out. But... I trust these people. Our relationship has been brief, but intense. I feel safe in their care

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-66108956410018869332008-09-30T09:52:00.004-04:002008-09-30T10:28:12.496-04:00

Things continue to go well, much to my astonishment and gratitude. I'm still not completely comfortable with the idea that this pregnancy is real, and will really result in a baby, but I think it's slowly sinking in.We met with Dr. Cautious last week to discuss the ultra-screen (blood tests + nuchal translucency scan) test to check for Down Syndrome. Going in, I assumed that since there is zero

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-22178546417391542572008-09-19T10:37:00.003-04:002008-09-19T10:38:43.154-04:00

Very quick update as Jack is in the other room and doesn't know about this blog (well, he know it exists, but not specifically where it is located). Anyway...1. Thank you!and2. Scan yesterday and all is well. Little heart beating away. Next peek is next Thursday. I am feeling very reassured.

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-48138111002483683012008-09-17T00:59:00.003-04:002008-09-17T01:12:23.415-04:00

Thank you all for your good thoughts. They mean so much to me. We have told very few people in "real life", so it's nice to know that you are out there.I am terrified. I am so afraid that something terrible will happen and I will lose this pregnancy. Or worse, that I already have but I just don't know it yet. Jack is not afraid. Not at all. He is waiting on me hand and foot so that I can rest.

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-82699425068471182292008-09-08T15:34:00.003-04:002008-09-13T00:33:43.038-04:00

Which is to say that I have a positive pee stick in my purse, and feel compelled to keep it near me at all times. Should I back up? I've left a lot of stuff out since I last visited this blog.My leg healed. We bit the bullet and bought (took out a loan to buy) a car. We visited a new RE.The new RE was thorough and compassionate and basically told us that she would go straight to IVF if it were

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-40224575162552618952008-05-30T00:53:00.003-04:002008-05-30T01:13:13.861-04:00

We did another iui. It didn't work. We have used up all the money we set aside in our flexible health spending account for 2008. RE suggests ivf. My car died. Really, really dead. Hmmm..replace car or do ivf? About the same, financially. And we can't really afford either. Unfortunately, I need a car to get to work. What else? I broke my leg. Jack's car needs expensive repairs. We had to replace a

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-22704033403884996172008-05-04T08:34:00.002-04:002008-05-04T08:36:48.829-04:00

I wrote a post. I took it down. Not because I didn't mean it, but because I didn't take any precautions to make it google-proof. And had a dream last night about a child googleing the two h0rses I wrote about, and finding this site, and having her little mind blown. So... probably an overreaction, but it's gone.

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-57327603532710847872008-02-10T15:58:00.000-05:002008-02-10T16:02:39.971-05:00

"Unlease that watering hose inside your pants"Thank you, Bejo Vee, for that much needed moment of levity.

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-8920233050779230652008-02-10T14:45:00.000-05:002008-02-10T14:51:01.490-05:00

I was going to include this as part of my last, gargantuan post, but decided to make it separate, since it didn't really fit.I am still bleeding. Not much at all, but it's still bright red. I started on Feb. 1, and this is Feb. 10, so that seems unusual. I had heavy bleeding for the first four days, then it seemed to taper off, but it hasn't stopped. Should I be concerned? I don't have any other

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-74952864441828271462008-02-10T12:59:00.000-05:002008-02-10T14:45:47.643-05:00

I feel so completely scattered and unfocused. I can't seem to decide what I would like to do next, treatment-wise. In my mind my options are:1. another round of fsh & iui2. another round of fsh, but no iui3. ivf4. stop treatment (either temporarily, or for good & move on to adoption)And, just to complicate things a bit more, option 5: either 1, 2, or 3 at a different clinic.I am not convinced of

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-25474984452016625622008-02-02T16:32:00.000-05:002008-02-02T16:58:39.777-05:00

Yesterday was February 1. It was also cd 1. Coincidence? Probably, but since I was in high school it has always seemed like the bad things that happen are more likely to happen in February. My best friend and I always breathed a sigh of relief when it was over, and fervently thanked our lucky stars that it's the shortest month of the year.I am disappointed. That's putting it mildly. I feel a

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-16902112486473363322008-01-31T16:54:00.000-05:002008-01-31T16:57:44.150-05:00

Another negative this morning, and I used the expensive FRER instead of the generic cheapies I've been using.Still pretty crampy.Breasts still kinda sore.No spotting in sight yet.

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-17188584730850195852008-01-30T18:30:00.000-05:002008-01-30T18:35:08.915-05:00

Thanks for all the rational words of support. Sadly, I just don't have a good feeling about this.On the side of this is doomed:Another negative this morning.Feeling pretty crampy. Not cute little twinges, but real cramps.On the side of there's still hope:Still not spotting.Breast tenderness has had a resurgence.On the whole, and based on personal prior history, I'm leaning more towards doomed.

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-49141441972724680092008-01-29T15:26:00.000-05:002008-01-29T15:30:08.185-05:00

Well, the hcg shot has cleared out. I tested today and it was negative, negative, negative.The hcg shot was 10 days ago, the iui was 8 days ago.I want to believe that there is still a little hope.But I don't know.Breast tenderness is completely gone.

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-32698314064414732272008-01-27T14:21:00.000-05:002008-01-27T14:26:16.381-05:00

I think I might not have a cold, but maybe pneumonia, or the plague or something. It is an extreme effort to relocate myself from bedroom to sofa. My head is terribly congested. I have a constant low-grade fever, no matter how faithfully I swallow acetaminophen. I haven't taken anything else, because I'm still hoping against hope that I might be pregnant. Plus, most cold remedies don't seem to

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-21123423722396263562008-01-25T17:15:00.000-05:002008-01-25T17:30:05.687-05:00

This post is unlikely to be of interest to anyone but me...but here goes, anyway.The four day post iui symptom watch:1. sore breasts2. still bloated, but much less tender, abdomen3. soooo constipated (tmi! sorry!)4. constant hunger5. exhaustionI know it is still too early for these to be the result of anything other than all the hormones I have injected (and the extra iron pills I'm taking (3),

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-15623321012953192712008-01-23T09:39:00.000-05:002008-01-23T09:51:53.626-05:00

I wish I had posted over the weekend...that would have been a giddy, happy post. Instead I waited, and am now in the dreaded two week wait, so this is likely to be a neurotic, anxious post.So, about the weekend, anyway: it was magical. That is the only word for it. Went out with friends to celebrate my birthday, had a snow day (extremely rare around these parts), and had the iui on my birthday. (

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-3876786290419990942008-01-16T22:39:00.001-05:002008-01-16T22:43:59.160-05:00

Today's scan was much less eventful-no shadow pregnancies. There are many follicles brewing, the largest of which is 1.3 cm. I go back on Friday for another look.To be honest, I have spent much more time today thinking of Alexa than of my ovaries. I am completely devastated for her. If you haven't been by yet, please go and leave her some words of support.

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-52965449430245637062008-01-13T13:35:00.000-05:002008-01-13T14:05:03.453-05:00

My baseline scan was on Friday. I was calm, I was ready to do this all over again. After I visited the lab for the bloodwork I changed and settled on the ultrasound table. The nurse (my favorite, I really need a name for her) came in and we chatted briefly about the protocol (same as last time, basically, except that we are adding an iui this time around). Then, in went the probe, and my uterus

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-61755747466828703792008-01-08T18:08:00.001-05:002008-01-08T18:17:35.137-05:00

Today is definitely day one, evidenced by the fact that I write to you from my bed. I did not go to work today, which always makes me feel like a big, big baby. But sometimes day ones take me down, and I don't even include the emotional component. It's the cramps...they hurt. But worse than that, it's the only being allowed to take Tylen0l for the cramps, which doesn't help much. And even worse

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-74891089674944111462008-01-07T21:24:00.000-05:002008-01-07T21:55:20.103-05:00

Yesterday and today I have been cramping and spotting. I am fairly certain tomorrow will be day one. Actually, I felt the same way yesterday, so I may not be the best prognosticator. Today was day 41. I have no idea if I ovulated this cycle, because I didn't temp. I think I might have, because I had a few days of appropriately eggwhite-ish cm about 2 weeks ago. Then again, maybe not, because my

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-38305948303719436452008-01-01T16:41:00.000-05:002008-01-01T17:19:34.516-05:00

I am spending an entire day on my sofa in my pajamas, watching Buffy dvds and catching up on blogs, and indulging in random googlery. A very pleasurable introduction to 2008, but not the most productive.I have made resolutions of the most basic and boring sort: floss daily (I am a full grown grown-up, and still I don't do this), exercise daily, eat vegetables daily. So far today, I have done none

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-20608381350313368122007-12-20T23:11:00.000-05:002007-12-20T23:38:54.806-05:00

I had my post-surgical follow up appointment this week. It was fairly anticlimactic. Reviewing the findings of the lap, Dr. RE informed me I had the pelv!s of a 16 year old. Hmm...that's a good thing, I guess. But why couldn't I have the unplanned pregnancy rate of a 16 year old?The new game plan is another round of fsh injections, but with an iui this time. I asked about the relative advantages

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-63147336952246470832007-12-01T09:00:00.000-05:002007-12-01T09:04:18.328-05:00

I survived!The entire hospital experience could not have been better...all the nurses, doctors and etc. were lovely and kind.And the lap showed...nothing. No signs of endo or anything nasty at all.This is a good thing. Right? It's better not to have any problems. Still, for the anxiety and the belly button pain and the residual carbonation floating around my shoulders, I kind of wish they had

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-87283828262399285442007-11-28T00:30:00.000-05:002007-11-28T00:46:44.774-05:00

I realize it's been a long time since I posted, but honestly not much has happened. At my last RE visit I was informed that absolutely nothing went wrong during my injectables cycle, despite the painfully short luteal phase, and despite, of course, not being pregnant. When (if) we do another ovulation-induction, there is nothing he would do differently.It seems that Dr. RE is now officially out

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-62547618897419971712007-10-18T18:42:00.000-04:002007-10-18T18:56:48.958-04:00

Because sometimes life just sucks like that.I woke up this morning and it was massively obvious that I wasn't pregnant. P'edOAS anyway: negative of course.I cried. I cried so much that even though I finished and put on makeup before I left the house, everyone at work immediately demanded to know "What's wrong?!?" and treated me gingerly all day, even though I only told them that I was fine.The

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-50836643926994404682007-10-17T22:12:00.000-04:002007-10-17T22:14:12.408-04:00

I just looked back through my charts. I don't remember ever spotting like this before, but I have. Twice. It's probably nothing. I'm still testing tomorrow, but I'm a lot less hopeful.

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-32505187576927901532007-10-17T22:03:00.000-04:002007-10-17T22:14:29.247-04:00

Tuesday (8 dpo) I was so completely symptomless that I was convinced this cycle was a failure. I was sad and weepy.Today (9 dpo) I have had spotting. I have never had spotting this early in a cycle in which I actually ovulated. When I first saw it I was so sure it was implantation spotting and that I was pregnant. I was giddy!Now I have calmed down. I still don't have a single other indicator to

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-17528490398998553332007-10-13T15:08:00.000-04:002007-10-13T15:37:26.645-04:00

Physically I am feeling much better. The abdominal pain is gone. The bloated, swollen feeling is gone. The breast tenderness is gone. Wait...that's not good! I want that one symptom to stick around, so I can continue to hope all this discomfort and expense might be worth it in the end.I am only 5 dpo. And these things come and go. So no reason to panic yet, right? Right?Today has been a

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-77002655779437391462007-10-10T10:28:00.000-04:002007-10-10T10:41:20.316-04:00

That's basically how I feel right now. I have had mild pelvic (swollen ovary) pain since the wanding last Thursday (before the trigger, so it couldn't be ohs, right?). I have gained four pounds, and only have two pairs of pants that fit comfortably. My breasts are sore. It feels like the very height of pms, so much so that I keep expecting my period to start, even though I am barely into the two

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-46480176623343816202007-10-06T11:39:00.000-04:002007-10-06T12:05:26.897-04:00

On Friday morning I was back in the stirrups again. It was a different nurse this time, and she was not nearly as informative as First Nurse. She asked me if I thought my follicles were growing, and I told her it felt like it. Different Nurse didn't say much at all while she was scanning me, nor did she spend nearly as much time doing so. She didn't measure my ovaries, or spend time counting

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-90376234416817728322007-10-04T22:43:00.000-04:002007-10-04T22:46:01.617-04:00

Thanks for all the well wishes! Lots and lots of follicles (over 30, total), all about the same (moderate to large) size, none mature enough to trigger. Very thick uterine lining with the 3 striations and everything. One more dose down, then going back tomorrow morning to see what's changed. Going to bed now. Hope I can sleep!

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-12196959454189461972007-10-03T10:27:00.000-04:002007-10-03T10:46:41.864-04:00

I can't wait for tomorrow's scan to see what's going on with my follicles. I know something is happening, because I pretty much went straight from the spotty end of my period into copious amounts of eggwhite.I am a little nervous about exactly what is happening. I've never done this before, so I don't know what to expect. I'm afraid I will have too many mature (or maturing at the same rate)

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-19648295781523624752007-10-01T00:23:00.001-04:002007-10-01T00:31:51.529-04:00

Well, not pregnant. Not surprised, either, really.So I have officially begun my first cycle of injectables. I have to say, it is much more difficult psychologically than physically. Once I get over the fact that I am about to voluntarily pierce my skin, the actual shot is no big deal.The nurse who scanned me on day 3 was gentle and kind, and most importantly, informative. I had 15 tiny follicles,

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-33012586808637181332007-09-24T09:27:00.000-04:002007-09-24T09:42:18.026-04:00

has crept in, again. But this time I find that I really, really want her to stick around. In fact, I'm not doing any of the things I could do to easily get rid of her. Like take my temperature in the morning. Or pee on a stick.I have reevaluated my chart of this months' symptoms (minus any temperatures), in the context of my entire and exhaustive history of previous ovulations. I think that I

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-91988426033422978202007-09-19T12:06:00.000-04:002007-09-19T12:28:50.556-04:00

Still alive, still here, still not pregnant. Bad blogger, bad!Okay, now to get on with it. I haven't written much lately because, honestly, not much has been happening on the ol' infertility front. Here is a quick (for some reason, and without much inherent logic, numbered) update:1. Final clomid cycle finally ground to a halt with a weird start-stop-start-stop period after NO ovulation. Fine. We

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-34308741514906315732007-07-21T20:47:00.000-04:002007-07-21T20:53:41.153-04:00

. . . for my copy of Harry Potter! I am about to explode from frustration. The reason I ordered HP7 from Amazon instead of buying it at midnight last night was so I would have all afternoon and evening to read instead of staying up all night. But now it's 8:00 pm and my copy is still on a UPS truck somewhere. Unfreakingbelievable.

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-84547920619159316632007-07-19T20:51:00.000-04:002007-07-19T21:03:42.078-04:00

The hsg went really well. I took 2 aleve about 2 hours beforehand, and felt no pain at all, just the same pressure from the speculum as with a pap smear and very mild cramping afterward. While I wouldn't recommend having one for fun, it was really cool to see the liquid fill my uterus, then swirl out of my fallopian tubes. Best of all, for the first time, I love my RE a little bit. He is very dry

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-71012241719025330882007-07-17T23:09:00.001-04:002007-07-17T23:36:51.987-04:00

My hsg is tomorrow at noon (so, obviously I'm not pregnant*...but I wouldn't have kept that news to myself). I would have preferred to schedule it on a Friday afternoon, but alas my doctor only schedules them on Mondays and Wednesdays. I'm only taking a half day off work. It is such a crazy busy week that I barely feel comfortable doing that, but I decided that an hsg is probably not something

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-91057437883971539192007-07-07T16:06:00.000-04:002007-07-07T16:57:44.657-04:00

Thank you for your kind support, but I do not think I will get to be one of those annoying people with spontaneous pregnancies after all. Or, as I told my husband earlier today, I'm 95% sure I'm not pregnant and 5% annoyed. Annoyed that I am not 100% sure, I suppose.So, at 13 dpo, here is the case for definitely not pregnant vs very slightly possibly pregnant:definitely not pregnant1.

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-37394923255548079522007-07-02T18:25:00.000-04:002007-07-02T18:47:18.912-04:00

So, I decided to take the month of June off. Off! No fertility for me in June.I had an interesting visit with the RE and we decided that after one cycle off (my decision because, you know, I recently had a stress breakdown) we would try one more round of clomid (my decision, because when it came down to it I freaked out in the face of injectable FSH) combined with an HSG (mutually agreed upon

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-38097193678189246732007-05-28T16:49:00.000-04:002007-05-28T16:56:12.278-04:00

Would you like to come to my party? My pity party, that is. Stop reading right here if you aren’t in the mood for self-indulgent whining that goes nowhere. Okay, now that I’m all alone here . . . Today is cd 52, and 13 dpo. That’s right, I ovulated on day 39. I spent most of days 18 thru 38 discouraged, since I am under the impression that delayed ovulation is unlikely to

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-45584091537932663712007-04-12T09:21:00.000-04:002007-04-12T09:51:28.192-04:00

Today is cd 6 of my fifth cycle of c (I am abbreviating because my blog is turning up way too high in too many google searches I do on cl-mid. I think I talk about it too much). Second cycle at this dose. Today is the last day this month that I will take it, and I think I only have one c cycle left after this one.I am not feeling optimistic. It's hard for me to believe that if everything looked

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-21883649742851657132007-04-03T09:26:00.000-04:002007-04-03T09:28:04.858-04:00

I didn't wait until Wednesday-negative pee stick today. Plus my bbt is on its way down.

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-40081598016150086842007-04-01T12:45:00.000-04:002007-04-01T13:35:45.452-04:00

I am ill! Most pathetically, piteously sick. This has been dragging on for a week now, though the symptoms have shifted slightly. I was sure it began as my usual pollen allergies (sneezing, mostly) but it has progressed to sneezing, coughing, fever, and deepest-darkest fatigue.One advantage of this illness is that I simply don't have the energy to contemplate whether or not this cycle will work.

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-17745084419863815742007-03-25T15:09:00.000-04:002007-03-25T15:42:58.845-04:00

So...When I called to schedule my postcoital test, the ever-so-helpful receptionist gave me a 10:30 appt and instructed me to have sex from 2 to 6 hours before the appt or, if that's any trouble, "anytime tonight will be fine". I'm sure it was the same one from last time, her instructions are frustratingly simple and vague.That night Al and I agonised a bit about what time we should have the sex.

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-83563292889630960732007-03-25T11:20:00.000-04:002007-03-25T15:08:11.305-04:00

[quick update for those not interested in the long saga below: still not pregnant, now on 150 mg clomid, cd 20]I don't know why I haven't posted in so long, honestly. It certainly is not from lack of things to talk about.So, when last I wrote it was Feb. 26, cd 14 of my third clomid cycle, and the stakes had been upped to 100 mg days 2-6. I was peeing on opk sticks (although, not at work) and

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-30541770753485974292007-02-26T10:14:00.000-05:002007-02-26T10:42:14.179-05:00

We now interrupt this blogging silence with a question . . .I have been dutifully peeing on ovulation predictor sticks since Thursday. Well, maybe not quite as dutifully as I could be, because I have yet to pee on a stick at work. I had late mornings every day last week, so I just peed at 9:30 right before I left the house.(An aside: When I was last at the RE's office, and twice since when I have

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-77883173305793037742007-02-19T09:55:00.000-05:002007-02-19T10:17:00.454-05:00

Today is cd 7. I took my last dose of clomid last night. I want this to work. I want 100 mg to be the magic dose. I wish there was something else I could do now, besides waiting, something to actively make this cycle work. Maybe I'll try my "yoga for fertility" dvd again. I bought it a year or so ago, and it obviously didn't help me ovulate, but maybe it's worth another try. Last cycle I was also

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-88227929778408902772007-02-13T18:08:00.000-05:002007-02-12T11:55:36.417-05:00

Wow...I am truly touched by the outpouring of sympathy-and more importantly, empathy-that my last post generated. I am so incredibly grateful for the existence of this online infertility community. No matter how awful I feel, I never feel alone. So, thank you.Today is cycle day 1. My temp never rose after last Thursday and the ill-fated pregnancy test. Instead, it continued its slow decline. I

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-66814498484816236762007-02-08T09:58:00.000-05:002007-02-08T10:15:17.751-05:00

Yesterday I fell for that old slut, hope, but when I woke up this morning she was gone.So, the day before yesterday I was feeling all crampy. Even though there was no sign of spotting when I woke up yesterday, I managed to hold hope mostly at bay. But then, all day long I had to pee. I had to pee so many times at work yesterday that I started visiting different bathrooms, just for variety. And

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-14109980751857918452007-02-06T18:51:00.000-05:002007-02-06T19:01:38.240-05:00

Today is 9 dpo. My temp is still high, but I am having some fairly significant cramps. I know that implantation can feel like impending menstruation (theoretically, I know this, not from experience) but I dare not get my hopes up that high. Especially considering how late the ovulation was.So, assuming that tomorrow may very well be cd 1, do I feel (1) miserable that I am not pregnant + in all

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-52359415084497964882007-02-01T17:48:00.000-05:002007-02-01T17:55:24.874-05:00

It looks like I did ovulate on day 31 or 32 (big temp spike on day 33). Also, my breasts are sore, sore, sore, which makes the ovulation feel real to me (because after waiting soooo long it's hard to put too much faith in four high bbts (so far).The fact that I ovulated is good. It's altogether better than not ovulating. But I am not at all hopeful that I might actually get pregnant this time. I

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-43316748925924970632007-01-27T19:04:00.000-05:002007-01-27T19:20:21.170-05:00

So, this is cycle day 31. Thirty-freaking-one! (Which is one less than how many years old I am as of this month.) And, no ovulation yet. There was a false alarm around day 20, but my bbt only stayed up over the coverline for about 3 days and has been resolutely low ever since. But! But I woke up this morning swimming in eggwhite. Seriously, I have never seen anything like it. So, hope has reared

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-46001277795638951112007-01-16T17:24:00.000-05:002007-01-16T17:25:42.900-05:00

No o yet. Temp is still low. I am really freaking annoyed. And a little depressed.

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-65141442594167308672007-01-15T18:23:00.001-05:002007-01-15T18:23:34.030-05:00

Martin Luther King, Jr. 1963. Letter from a Birmingham jail.

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-61658227259631890892007-01-14T23:55:00.000-05:002007-01-15T00:10:59.599-05:00

So, last month I finally o'd on day 18 and my temp started a slow rise on day 19. Today was day 18 of this cycle. I'm on the same dose of clomid, and really have not done anything differently (other than fail to obsess over this cycle) so I'm hoping to finally get a temp rise tomorrow. I had a twinge of pain today that could have been ovulatory. Also, I had a little spotting (which I did not have

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-88978585809800962322007-01-14T23:21:00.000-05:002007-01-14T23:54:02.770-05:00

This past week was crazy. First my mother calls and tells me my grandmother is dying. She also called her sister(my aunt) to come home from Reykjavik, so I know she thought the end was very nigh. On Thursday my grandmother was diagnosed with two separate infections, started on massive doses of antibiotics, and I heard that she was a bit better (my aunt arrived that night). On Friday morning I

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-12508739445732414352007-01-11T23:35:00.000-05:002007-01-12T00:02:44.838-05:00

The big news yesterday, until I received the news from my mother that my grandmother was very, very ill, was my appointment with my RE in the morning.The first bit of good news I received was that I did not gain any weight over the holidays. This was a complete shock, since I certainly did not restrain myself from eating anything I wanted. I put it down to the metformin.I didn't actually see Dr.

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-76679940949046199962007-01-11T23:28:00.000-05:002007-01-11T23:35:41.689-05:00

My grandmother's breathing has improved and she is no longer on oxygen. She is still unresponsive, though. We are going this weekend to visit her. I am sad, and emotionally exhausted from waiting all day for news. I am also incredibly grateful to have Al in my life. This would be so much harder without him by my side.

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-3319177993641778912007-01-11T10:29:00.000-05:002007-01-11T11:05:08.153-05:00

My grandmother, my mother's mother, is very ill. She has had Alzheimer's disease for a very long time, and her decline has been painful and slow. She developed symptoms before my grandfather was diagnosed with cancer. They were fiercely independent and wanted to nurse each other through. It was only towards the end of his battle that they accepted help from family, from hired help, from hospice

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-62840850911233646102007-01-03T20:19:00.000-05:002007-01-03T20:37:19.350-05:00

Last cycle I agonized over each dose of clomid I swallowed. I knew exactly which pill I was taking, how many were left, and whether I was more than 10 minutes off the time I decided I would take the pills each day (no idea whether this makes any difference but I was convinced I had to take them at exactly the same time each day). I was constantly vigilant about side-effects. I became hyper-aware

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-40088472738246042272006-12-31T10:47:00.000-05:002006-12-31T11:08:30.923-05:00

For the last few years our bedroom has been a very dark red. I chose it because I thought it was romantic and a bit exotic. And it was. I loved it. But lately I had grown tired of it. It was very dark, and started to feel a bit oppressive. Also, it struck me as a very infertile color-the color of blood.So Al and I began color negotiations. We didn't want to go with a creamy-browny-neutral, since

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-83319971818697225162006-12-28T21:53:00.000-05:002006-12-31T10:22:32.342-05:00

Today is cd 2. So, obviously, the first cycle of clomid was not a complete and unmitigated success. But . . . I did ovulate! So that's a victory of some sort, right? Here are the facts:Clomid (50 mg) days 2-6.Haphazard supplementation with flaxseed oil/evening primrose oil days 3-10.Basic multivitamin each day.Guaifenesin days 7-18 (this was partly for the cervical mucous benefit and partly

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-17146615296174745082006-12-22T13:21:00.000-05:002006-12-22T17:03:41.855-05:00

I am enjoying an entire week off work. I feel a bit guilty about all the things I am not even attempting this year (sending Christmas cards, baking), but I am trying to forget about them and enjoy the things I have left to do. Like wrapping, which I actually love but have not yet done. Al has considerably less time off than I do, so we will be smashing all our holiday travels into three days.Here

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-1166154272209893762006-12-14T22:28:00.000-05:002006-12-22T17:02:48.905-05:00

This week has been an emotional roller coaster ride. Last Saturday I was completely convinced that the clomid has had absolutely no effect on me and nothing at all was going on in the nether regions. Then, on Sunday, there was suddenly lots and lots of clear, watery cervical mucus. We tossed the preseed we've been using this cycle because there was absolutely no need. Monday I had more eggwhite

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-1165694996386191702006-12-09T15:04:00.000-05:002006-12-22T17:02:24.989-05:00

That would be me. Whining about one cycle of clomid not working, when it's too soon to say, and when so many others have been through so much more. Sorry. To the universe, I apologize.PS. Does this qualify as moodswings? (Or, as spellcheck would have it, "modishness"?)

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-1165691525575826052006-12-09T13:56:00.000-05:002006-12-22T17:01:44.758-05:00

Hope, that is. Hope that I will be one of the lucky ones who wins a baby with just one round of clomid. I don't think I'm going to ovulate.I know that theoretically it could still happen. Tomorrow, actually, is the last day in the 5-9 day range that ovulation typically occurs in following the last dose of clomid. So, it could happen tomorrow and not even be outside of a typical response. Or, I

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-1165450456763804852006-12-06T19:04:00.000-05:002006-12-22T17:00:42.148-05:00

Of course I do! I don't know where all that calm, "I don't expect it (clomid) to work the first time" business was coming from, or where it went. I am consumed all day with obsessive thoughts of ovulation. When will I ovulate? Will I ovulate at all? Was that twinge ovulatory pain? When will I ovulate? Why don't I have more cervical mucus yet? Will I ovulate? What does it mean that my bbt went up

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-1165289332383147822006-12-04T21:53:00.000-05:002006-12-22T16:59:18.498-05:00

I don't know why I haven't posted in so long. It certainly isn't for lack of things to say . . . It's true that I have been incredibly busy, but I think it is also that the longer I wait the more I feel like it would take me forever to write about everything that has been going on and so I don't bother to try. I will now boil it down to the most basic details and hopefully start anew from here.1.

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-1158895688571049832006-09-21T22:54:00.000-04:002006-12-22T16:58:45.880-05:00

None of the expected side effects of metformin have materialized yet. I am keeping my fingers crossed, though, because on Saturday I start taking two a day instead of just one (for a total of 1000 mg).The paperwork from the RE arrived today. I haven't opened it yet. I am too exhausted. It seems like I am always completely wiped out by Thursdays, manage to get through Fridays just by knowing the

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-1158466074507802932006-09-17T00:07:00.000-04:002006-12-22T16:57:06.509-05:00

So. freaking. funny. Go see it!

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-1158440673086926472006-09-16T17:03:00.000-04:002006-12-22T17:04:35.529-05:00

In my excitement about having an RE appointment, I forgot to relay yesterday that I passed my liver tests and received a metformin prescription.My pharmacist happens to be someone with whom I have a friendly but not especially close social acquaintance. I like her, but I don't see her often. She called me at work on Thursday. (My work # is not part of the pharmacy records, as I have recently

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-1158370342410201632006-09-15T21:20:00.000-04:002006-09-15T21:32:22.423-04:00

I did it.Was anyone paying attention when I promised the internets that I would call and make an appointment with an RE by the end of this week? No? Probably not. And yet, having made the commitment I had to follow through. I put it off until today, of course. Until 10:30 when the office I chose closes at noon on Fridays. And I forgot to write down the number and take it to work with me. So I had

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-1157827582525935162006-09-09T14:17:00.000-04:002006-12-22T17:07:11.071-05:00

Last night at dinner with Al I ran into a former co-worker. I knew her two years and two jobs ago. I was just starting to come to grips with the fact that after three-or-so years (at the time) of off-the-pill sex, getting pregnant was not going to happen easily or naturally. She had suffered two miscarriages and was ready to move on to adoption. Adoption had a lot of appeal to me, too. It still

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-1157823034880763772006-09-09T13:06:00.000-04:002006-12-22T17:07:54.524-05:00

In a return to form, my doctor (does she need a name at this point? I think I will dub her Dr. Clomid) had her nurse call me yesterday morning. I must come in on Monday for liver function tests before they will release the glucophage prescription. That's fine with me: I am all for tests. Sign me up for a full-body scan, please.I am excited about the glucophage. With the help of Dr. Google I had

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-1157689681694771822006-09-07T23:41:00.000-04:002006-12-22T17:08:38.393-05:00

My doctor called me this morning. This is highly unusual, as her nurse has always been the one to call me with results in the past. Thyroid was normal. Cholesterol and testosterone were both slightly elevated, which she says is "suggestive" of PCOS.Here is what I love about my doctor: she is very reassuring. She reminds me of the shrink in that song by Prince, "U know the one - Dr Everything'll

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-1157410874269737492006-09-04T18:22:00.000-04:002006-12-22T17:09:37.910-05:00

I had a 3 day weekend. Al did not. So, I set off to visit my family solo. I began the four hour drive with the cd I mentioned last. That may not have been such a good idea. The song "Lullaby" made me want to cry. The song about Alzheimer's did make me cry. "So hard" made me cry again. I took the disc out and replaced it with The White Stripes. So no more crying, but I think the damage was done.

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-1157061779283429032006-08-31T18:02:00.000-04:002006-12-22T17:10:32.783-05:00

I heard in a radio interview today that two of the D!x!e Ch!cks struggled with infertility (both now have twins) and wrote the song So Hard about the experience. How did I not know that? I love the DCs, and actually own the cd the song is on, but I guess I never listened closely to that track. As soon as I got home I put the disc on and it is plain as day.

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-1156892290848608182006-08-29T18:36:00.000-04:002006-08-29T18:58:10.876-04:00

Just back from the gyn! I asked her couldn't we please test for something, anything that might result in a diagnosis and treatment that insurance would cover. She was willing to do some bloodtests for thyroid dysfunction and pcos again, but not hopeful that anything would turn up. Apparently there is absolutely nothing wrong with me except a stubborn refusal to ovulate. But, blood was drawn, so

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-1156821035150102472006-08-28T22:17:00.000-04:002007-01-12T01:24:45.340-05:00

Wow, another month has gone by since I last posted. Thank you, thank you, thank you for the sympathetic comments. Things have actually improved a little bit financially, and that has prompted an upturn in my mood, as well!For one thing, I have started a new job. An entirely different job. Which is probably the last thing I will ever post about this, out of fear of being outed one day and having

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-1153266347761469512006-07-18T19:18:00.000-04:002006-07-18T19:45:47.800-04:00

Wow . . . I can't believe it's been over a month since I have posted. And almost a year since I began this blog. This blog was primarily designed to be a kick in my ass toward seeking treatment for my infertility. Still haven't done that. According to my plan, I was supposed to have spent the last 11 months doing who knows what to try to get knocked up, and by August I am supposed to either be

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-1150339041460748632006-06-14T22:36:00.000-04:002006-06-14T22:37:21.460-04:00

The beach was beautiful, the vacation was wonderful. There is more to say but I can't seem to find time to say it. I will try this weekend.

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-1149221759421091192006-06-02T00:15:00.000-04:002007-01-12T01:20:42.710-05:00

So, Moxie has requested that we all describe what our Thursdays were like. I will play along (even though I can't remember if I've ever delurked on her blog) because I actually did something today other than work, eat, and sleep.I started with work, of course. This week is not a very busy one, but I still managed to leave half an hour later than I planned.My mission for the afternoon was to find

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-1149029568966327632006-05-30T18:52:00.000-04:002006-05-30T19:16:46.283-04:00

She (Soper) wrote it almost two years ago. I found it today. This is exactly how I feel:"Because I am not normal, I cannot just say 'let's make a baby' and make a baby, because no matter how legal it is or what avenue we go down, in reality I will, in some fashion, have to buy a kid. Either buy the technology to make one grow inside me, or inside someone else, or pay some agency or lawyer a ton

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-1148925873754175382006-05-29T13:58:00.000-04:002006-05-29T14:04:33.766-04:00

Yesterday Al and I went to the local dollar theater to see "V for Vendetta". Wow. Dark and depressing but also delicious (maybe I could try to go on and on using d words instead of v words? I don't think I will). Almost as depressing as this movie's depiction of the not-so-distant future was how long it took Al and me to scrape up two dollars in change so that we could go see it. Okay, it's not

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-1147839048928175032006-05-16T23:56:00.000-04:002006-05-17T00:10:48.946-04:00

I had a wonderful weekend. It involved travel, family, a graduation, gorgeous weather, the dreaded Mother's day (wasn't as bad as it might have been), and not nearly enough sleep. Yet this week I have felt so very blah (for lack of a better word). That familiar treading-water feeling I have all too often. Al and I are happy together; we have a good life. Pick any random day and look at it on its

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-1147140051665899352006-05-08T21:37:00.000-04:002007-01-12T01:15:15.350-05:00

So . . . I haven't posted in awhile. I blame my husband. It's just that I haven't shared this blog with him and therefore I can not post when he is around. Lately, I have not had much time to myself. His company has been through some structural changes recently and one of the results is that they changed his position from salaried to hourly and forbad him to work any overtime. Combine that with

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-1145124747007050812006-04-15T14:06:00.000-04:002006-04-15T14:12:27.033-04:00

You know, I really don't have that much left to do to get my taxes finished up and mailed off. A few numbers to double check, a few loose ends to tie up.So, clearly, before I can even think about finishing my taxes I must clean and organize my home office. My home office which is no longer strictly necessary and has been gathering dust for the past year or so (but yes, the papers I need are filed

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-1144812879583417452006-04-11T23:11:00.000-04:002006-04-12T00:15:24.080-04:00

Hmmm. . . Which little snippet of my life should I reveal today?That one of my coworkers wore an empire waist dress today and I am now completely convinced (in a very paranoid way) that she is pregnant?That I finally started on my 2005 taxes (and at the moment it looks like I owe almost $900 -ouch- but I'm not finished yet so I hold out delusional hope that I may still get a refund)?That I (

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-1144299882936352432006-04-06T00:55:00.000-04:002006-04-06T01:04:42.953-04:00

Al is a dentist. I am a cytopathologist. We live in Aurora, Illinois. There is a local fertility clinic, and we make so much money we don't even have to worry about whether we can afford treatment. Not that it really matters, because treatment is covered by our health insurance!!! Of course, in a fantasy alternate reality shouldn't we live in Hawaii? Shouldn't Al be a working artist (his passion)

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-1144296819239079552006-04-06T00:13:00.000-04:002006-04-06T00:39:36.683-04:00

Fertility LifeLines State-Mandated Insurance ListI think maybe it's time to move to Chicago? Or Boston?

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-1143958249698641642006-04-02T01:06:00.000-05:002006-04-02T01:10:49.726-05:00

How exactly does one save time by losing an entire hour of it? An hour that is normally devoted to sweet, sweet sleep. And of course since I planned on going to bed an hour early tonight I am wide awake. Sigh. Unrelated badness: I just googled "infertility dandruff" to see if there is any connection and all signs point to PCOS. Except my gyn swears I don't have this. Sigh again.

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14742912.post-1143434260027710502006-03-26T23:24:00.000-05:002006-03-26T23:37:40.046-05:00

Today was a good day. Last night one of my cousins came up to visit. He was escaping from his own problems for a day or two and he and Al and I just went out to have fun. We ate at a new restaurant which turned out to be quite good, we visited a liquor store which I haven't done in I don't know how long, and we came home and played drinking games with a pitcher of some kind of weird drink I

elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07918026400374905684noreply@blogger.com0